I could never complete watching a Bumba da- Rituparna potboiler, until one genius director made Utsab. However the feedbacks shared over social networking sites compelled me to watch the most recent one, Prakton.
Wait, this is not gonna be a movie review write up.
Me and my childhood friend were chatting over the stereotyped perception on Indian women , showed in this movie and she ended up raising a question on my recent Facebook upload.
I was wearing a red saree ,posing near my living room door, without make up or add-ons.
She said , ‘ I bet you show this photo to someone who doesn't know you and ask what do you think about her? Answer will be based on the look- your red saree, Sindoor, sankha pola (my red and white bangle) in your hand- and I bet their answer would be mostly like - she stays at home, watches saas bahu soap in tv in the afternoon, cook fish and rice for family, gossip about neighbours, not much fluent with Google Chrome or with the colloquial English or with the latest news headlines. That's how they have been projecting us for years in movies or television’
And I did not have an answer. Because she was so right!
In our country, people do judge a woman by every inch of her external appearance. And here judging means not only the character but also their probable family background,what she is good of, how much education she might have pursued, how much modern or retarded she is.
Remember the Nihar naturals ad by Vidya Balan?
And that's why this movie was so successful, because they fire up such common practices.
In short:
Here the hero has an ex wife, our BAD QUEEN of the story.
She is at present wearing a Vogue black frame, scrolling her smartphone screen continuously, wears subtle make up- expensive and beautifully crafted dresses, talks softly ,warns people not to call her much during the time she is traveling. She had a job which demanded late night work, she was financially independent to book air tickets to fly home and see her parents often,she wanted to invest in some property apart from their ancestral house and most importantly she was not ready to let go her career,independance, stability, personal space, me time completely when her husband demanded that this can be the only way to save their marriage!
And then there is our GOOD QUEEN - the present wife of our hero. She boastfully announces that she has a successful marriage because she calls every member of the house separately whenever she is not at home,to make them happy, She wears ordinary floral printed salwar suit and always carries home cooked food wherever they go. Including the aam pachok ( kinda hojmola) . She watches all serials one after another till dinner time. Her success Mantra is adjustment and that's why she is NOT EX but taken XL size space in husband's heart and EXcelled ‘ the home making’.
Conclusion- BAD QUEEN can not adjust, so clean bowled out. And from the pavillion she regrets why did she not listen to what her husband wanted.
GOOD QUEEN , mistress of ‘ adjustment’ ,wife of our hero, a good mother, a caring daughter in law, a good human being,.
But,wait. Why do we have to conclude this?
Can't they show that our “ bad queen “, who manages office late nights, comes back home,serves food to family,takes care of herself,watches a tv show with mother in law next day morning with hot cup of tea, manages own finance and her entire family supports her when she goes for frequent office trip overseas? She wears business casual, but still feels enormously comfortable wearing saree in weekend, she has deadline tomorrow yet she books late night movie show previous night with husband. Basically no bad or good queens, but a queen with flaws and love, like normal human being!
Utopian concept, isn't it?
My wardrobe is a cluster of jeans shirts sarees salwars kaftan kurti. I choose when to wear what. My personality.
My sankha pola - yes I wear them, even with my jeans and tees look. And I don't feel confused or outdated or not even rebel. It's as normal as drinking water to me. My assets.
I don't go to office now,as I have a 10 months old baby at home,and we don't live with our parents. I am reliving my childhood by playing with him all day. I love to be his mother when he needs me the most. Yet, I do miss my job and that will also be part of routine again. I don't feel pain of loosing any side or gaining any. Staying at home does not make me a good mother neither going to office back someday will make me bad. Its my life, I am spending on what I feel worth. My family priorities.
I have lived in this city many years alone, have cooked alone and dined alone,searched for new home alone, lifted my heavy suitcases to top floors alone, lived with many strangers in new rooms in hostels and sometimes have lived in the same room alone for months. Still I miss my home , I miss home cooked food,at the same time I am grown up matured to adjust with anyone now. My learning.
So, you see, nothing explains what I really made of, except the dots in my lifeline, what I achieve, what I fail, nothing except my story you get by joining those dots ( yup, as Mr Job suggested once).
Be it our dress, or our routine, or our hairstyle, or work style, or the friends we choose, the way we sit, the way we burp( or should not burp at all), the color of lipstick, the language we speak- ‘Modern’ or ‘Retarded’- they gonna judge us until we die and make us feel guilty about ourselves and will get the ultimate satisfaction of this.
So if you can't shut them up, shut up your regrets and move on!
