The Myth they name it “Woman Empowerment in India”

First let me tell few stories here.

• This guy works in a reputed MNC. He is 32 , looking for a bride. We have few common friends, one day we were sitting in CCD and pulling his leg about his matrimony hunt. He said “ I just want a simple girl yaar, educated, homely, religious, caring and most importantly not working in IT like you! I have seen all you IT girls, can’t see one like you at home as well. Either school teacher or just stay at home”.

• One day the maid at my mom’s place reached late. She started dusting and cleaning but she was awfully quiet that day. We asked her ‘what happened Meera?’; she started managing her running nose then ended up in tears. She got married with this cobbler 8 years back, now they have 2 daughters and one young son. She works in 12 houses in our apartment; whatever she earns she buys food-ration and sends her daughters to school. The elder daughter wakes up after her mom leaves, makes boiled rice and potato for father and her siblings, goes to school and finishes house-hold chores in the evening. Meera broke into tears describing how her husband demanded mutton curry and rice last night after returning home drunk. Then he threw them out of house and cursed them for his ‘lifetime agony’.

• That day I was following the Union Budget highlights, first budget of Modi Sarkar after winning election. Finance Minister lamented apathy towards statistics of the girl-child education in India, announced 100 Crore for “Beti Padao, Beti Badao  Yojna”. After 2 weeks, I was shocked by the news headlines in Bangalore TOI. 6 years old student got raped in school premises during school hour, the school is at walking distance from my home, and one of the reputed schools in this area. It’s been 14 days, the suspects are yet to be arrested.

I could have brought up more stories here. But I don’t find it necessary as shamefully these stories are being published, read and discussed over tea somewhere, someplace else.

Is it a myth or truth that Women in India are really getting empowered?

My male friend is still in search of the ‘homely sweet bride’; of course he can’t take ‘another IT woman like you girls’ back home. She will be equally technically eloquent, may be earning same or sometimes more salary than him, will be managing few male employees under her or will be competing shoulder to shoulder with some of her contemporaries. How can he expose the well-suppressed ‘inferiority’ in domestic life, how can he be a part of this EMPOWERMENT!

In my native, Kolkata, if you have travelled in local trains, the vendor and ladies compartments will be overflowing with thousands of Meera. They leave home, work for their daily wedges, come back home, get beaten up by husbands every night and carry the mark as stamp of security throughout life. They don’t have permanent address, they don’t have protected shelter. So this domestic violence is a part of their EMPOWERMENT.

There is a huge difference how a boy and girl are brought up. Education, ethics, mental development, co-curriculum activities- these all are common for a boy or girl. But essentially a parent need to educate a girl (I don’t know from which age, I see news like 2 years kid gets raped !) how to keep herself safe. So when a girl leaves the womb of her mother and breathes in the air, she needs to know “Beti, this world is not a fairy kingdom, here monsters are not essentially coming with big teeth and red eyes. You need to keep an eye around you all the time, because anytime a monster can break the wall of your castle and take you away to jungle.”. And unfortunately some time the story gets modified a little bit “ Beti, don’t tell anyone that the monster came and what he did with you. It will be alright. The pain will be gone. The tears will dry. The fairy kingdom will be all right once again. But ssshhh don’t tell anyone!!!!”

In spite of all these,Women in India are empowering themselves. Entrepreneur, teacher, astronaut, doctor, Engineer, autorickshaw- driver, bus-conductor, traffic police, film-director, author, Olympic winner athletes, Mechanic (yes, if you go to Decathlon you will see girls repairing bi-cycle parts), CEO and Managers. The list is endless. The statistics are enviable. But in basic grass-root level, I still see the RESPECT FOR WOMAN is disgraceful and disheartening.

She was also a woman who carried you for 9 months and did bear the pain while bringing you up.Please give respect to women, if you can’t empower them at least do not snatch away the respect and power she deserves or owns.

Lifeline in BMTC

For last couple of year my family, friends have been insisting that it’s a high time to buy a car. With the emergent traffic signals and dwindling patience I always end up deciding -whether I travel by BMW or BMTC, my 4 kilometre travel from home to office is always going to take 1 hour. So no point of investing in commutation luxury!

Keeping this dissatisfaction on Bangalore roads, booming real-estate and numbers of Tech-parks in Bangalore, easy car-loans making every traffic signal uneasy and a bunch of civilised people who never believe in ideas like car-pooling rather relax and wait in a XUV500 or bigger cars lined up in pathetic Graphite India Signal blocking bikers and autos to wait with him….well let me think about my mixed-bag experiences over last 4 years in BMTC.

“Aiidu rupees change illa? !! ? “

Well the most wanted currency in BMTC is a Five Rupee coin. If you don’t have it, the conductor will give you a look like you are worse than a beggar, uglier than an earthworm and do not deserve to ride in a BMTC Vajra bus.

First time you say “illa” he will take a sneak peek into your moneybag. If you were just telling lie without searching much in your bag, you will be proved as stupid right away.

In case his quick investigation into your purse went in vain, he will ask explanations why nobody carries ‘changes’ while travelling!

The crisis reaches to its peak when neither you or the conductor has change for five and you are among the three four people who will get down at the last stop. At the last stop, the conductor with hand you over 10 RS currency and will ask you to adjust it with another passenger who is also in the same queue.

“Will get down in Next stop”

This crowd of ladies likes to stand in front of the front gate, jostle among themselves to adjust some space, ignore the yelling conductor “oalagade hogi” (to go inside the bus)  to make some space. I always keep on listening “will get down at next stop”, but next stop will come after five six stoppage.

Like the nerve and tenacity of these front runner. Cheers ladies!

“Working from Bus- WFB”

Unlike the spirits who flee away once out of the bottle (read office cubicles), there are people who connect wireless dongle and work from bus- NO OFFENCE MEANT, this is my salute to them. I put a headphone and listen to “Sadda Haq aethe rakh” after 7pm, while they regularly give me inferiority complex by their dedication. By the time the Kundalahalli Gate traffic signal opens for the bus, which normally takes 20 minutes average, these gentlemen and ladies will talk over the phone asking for the status, reply to mails, connect to VPN and finish the last minute work.

Keep me inspiring folks!

“Mobile pigeons”

In my time (well I know I am sounding like a women in 60 remembering ‘my good old days’), there was no chat services over the phone. I remember typing frequent sms and telephone conversations which are pretty uncool now. In this age of micro-messaging, fingers type faster than mind & Watsapp connects people faster than “hello how are you?”. If 10 people are standing around me in a bus, at least 8 of them will not look up from the mobiles and rest of the 2 will be watching over how good the other dude is playing temple-run.

“Music: Ninnindale ninnindale kanasondu shuruvaagide”

Whenever I am not carrying my ipod, I pray inside may the driver prove himself a mighty good RJ. He is the one entertaining us apart from his driving curriculum.

Some drivers keep remarkable playlists. A series of A.R.Rehman hits (in Hindi/Tamil), SRK 90’s movie songs, recent Bollywood songs, udit Narayan songs. Well I know my North Indian friends reading this will yell at me ‘enough of optimism, truth is mostly they play Kannada’. True, that’s the regional language, so that is most welcome.   

The song I mentioned above is my favorite, though I am totally naive in Kannada song but the amazing voice of Sonu Nigam humming this song makes the morning better.

Confession - When they play numbers from pre- 80’s or 80’s, it makes it complicated for me. Then my headphones are my best friend J

“Incredible India lives in a Bangalore Metropolitan Transport Corporation“

At any second you spend in a BMTC, you will find a composed collage of India. There will be a Bengali girl sitting near the back gate, wearing Red and White bangle- that’s me! The guy next to me is talking over the phone in Tamil. The Sardar ji is waiting for the next stop to come near the gate. The two girls sitting behind me are constantly jiggling and pulling each other’s leg in Hindi, they are from UP. The conductor is yelling “Ticket Kudi” in Kannada, the lady fighting with him is wearing Jasmine on her plait is either Karnatika or telegu.The bunch of boys sitting in the last row are surely fresher, talking about the induction program and projects. They are from Bhilai, MP.

Incredible India is right here right now with you in this Bus Ride!

“The hearty Bangalorians, take a bow”

There are a huge number of co-passengers who commute every day in BMTC and everyday fight the same battle of nerve with enduring traffic issues, but still they will make sure you are not uncomfortable. They will ask you if you can hold the baby in case you are standing for long time. I have seen people who even helped a lady to feed her little daughter, as the mother was already carrying her office laptop bag and the pre-school stuffs of the kid. Good Samaritans are there who leave their hard-earned seats to pregnant women and old ladies.

One day while returning home, I was sitting beside a man in his late 20’s. A man got into the over crowded bus with his 1 years son. The son was nagging for a seat. The man next to me called the man and asked him politely if his son can share his seat. The kid then sat in between us. To keep the impatient kid little busy, he started showing him games installed in his mobiles. And next 1 hour the kid was all happy and cheering with excitement every time the demon ate the temple-runner.

We commute by BMTC; every red signal jeopardizes our precious times; every fight with conductor once in a month makes us feel disgusting.

But still, the day I will start driving to my office, I will miss these implausible experiences during my joy rides. 

Long Live BMTC!