A take on Women's Day:do we need a special day to be "Happy"?

“Women’s day“ celebration is ON once again, so  “Happy Women’s Day” wish flooding in Facebook, emails, messages.

So why does a woman need to be essentially happy or to feel happy on this Day?

 As I am growing up (or growing old rather) and maturing up from a girl to a lady to a woman now- this question strikes me every year on the same day! When I see around, lots of images come to my mind. I have not travelled much around the world, so better I find my answer and say trivial facts about this country’s AAM KANYAs first!

• "Oh she's got a girl child again!"

I was the first child of my parents and they were immensely proud of me. My grandfather named me after Goddess Durga. I still remember he was 96 years old when I met him last time, I was leaving home for my new posting in Bangalore. He embraced me as usual and told me in my ears “ Be Good, be Happy!”.

When I grew up, one day my mother told me a story about an old lady who used to stay in our next apartment. When my mother was carrying my unborn brother, she went to this lady’s house for baby-shower (a blessing ceremony on 9^th month of pregnancy). She said to my mother very sweetly “Now you have a girl, the next child you give birth must be a beautiful boy”. So here starts the journey of a girl who is not “always welcome” if she gives birth to multiple girls!

• "Fight the society, because it's not always men who cut the wings"

My parents have always considered me same as my brother, rather I was the elder brother for my brother. And still I am their elder child, not girl or boy. I feel blessed that my father has taught me not to think myself as a girl, rather as a human being and allowed me to dream whatever I want to do in my life. He asks me before taking major decisions in the family. My husband, who is a wonderful human being have always inspired me to fly like a bird. If I feel tired, I know I can rest in his shelter. Both of these men of my life do not feel ashamed in case they have to do dusting and cleaning at home for one-day if the lady in the house is not well. And they don’t have problem either if I stay late in office finishing my deadlines, because they do have the same responsibilities in work front. I am so much pampered by these two man, I have no hard feeling about any MAN in this world!

GIRLS: If WE ARE FIGHTING A BATTLE TO HOLD A STRONG GROUND HERE, IT IS NOT AGAINST MEN. Rather it is against the SOCIETY WE LIVE IN.

Only we can bring changes in our society’s though process.

We always read in newspaper about the female feticide in Punjab, Haryana, UP, Rajasthan and many other states where this trend is chronic. We blame the parents, the society, the police, hospitals, brokers etc etc and sit down in couch thinking what will happen to this country. But WHY a girl fetus is so much of a burden to carry and give birth for those mothers? Because in a major part of Indian ‘civilization’, women are considered as COMMODITY or package!

• "If you look fair & lovely, half the battle is won!!" 

Have you seen the advertisements in matrimony websites or newspaper? It always comes up with feature specification: “Beautiful, slim, fair, graduate, homely, excelled in house-hold work, caring and adjustable with family etc etc etc”.( I am keeping aside the cast and age for a minute). So a ‘desirable’ woman should come as a SMART Television with all dashing features and latest technologies in it!

I mean if a woman is well-educated, does she essentially need to be good in house-hold work? She must have spent the same amount of time and energy to get educated, may be to get a good job and to establish herself and her family like the boy has done until he is 27! If he can’t prepare anything else than 2-minues noodle, why does he expect that she should excel in the ‘art of cooking’ (oh yes, in 80% of the houses man boasts of the fact how well his wife cooks!!)? I see nowadays wherever I go, old-aged ladies will ask first- What do you cook at home(Answer: …yeah..aunty …normal stuffs)? What time you come back from office (Answer:…mmm..not fixed aunty..sometime late)?  Can you wear saree yourself now (Answer: somehow I manage…but when is the time to wear it aunty?)? And then tremendously upset by my unwitting replies, they will turn to my husband and try to make out whether I feed him nicely.

On the other hand, this beautiful faces coming in “FAIR AND LOVELY” ads. If you are fair, if your skin is glowing like ‘photoshop’ed tube-lights, it means you will get all good things in life. If you can’t sing well-wait! it will give you CONFIDENCE. If boys are not looking at you, that means your life is over- Wait! it will give you fairy look and yes, CONFIDENCE! If your parents are forcing you for early marriage- wait! It will make you beautiful and you can fight back saying you’ve got a career!!  PERIOD.

GIRLS: OUR LIFE does not / should not GO AROUND the kitchen or Beauty creams. It’s only and only us who can bring some other dimension to it. LIVE YOUR DREAM, not what society wants from you!

• "Man, you got a spine at your back"

On the top of that our so called Indian ‘culture’ bears the scar mark named as “Dowry”. 2012 statistics said 91,202 dowry deaths officially reported in 10 years; never know how many were inhibited. It’s absurd that a ‘MAN’ who calls himself a ‘MAN’ physically, mentally and biologically is ready enough to marry a girl but does not have the GUTT to marry only that girl as a life -partner not as a commodity. In return he is asking for Land, House, Car, Kilos of Gold, Bike and then humorously common household stuffs like TV, Refrigerator, Washing Machine etc etc! I mean, if you can’t buy these stuffs yourself, you can’t ask for these luxuries BY THE INVESTMENT YOU MAKE CALLED MARRIAGE.

GUYS: ONLY 3 WORDS WE LIKE (not I LOVE YOU)- (but) BE A MAN.

• Super women

I see nowadays in comedy series in television channels (read Comedy Nights with Kapil), even movies as well.. Wives are ‘villains’. They snatch the independence from the poor husbands, keeps fighting like ‘Bandit Queens’ and makes their life like jail.

I have a different story to tell. In this 21^st Century I see lot of ladies around me who wake up early in the morning; make breakfast and lunch for family; prepare kids for school; prepares herself for office: work 10 hours a day; they are the treasures to their respective workplaces; they talk well - present well- write well- lead well- work extraordinary well; then they are back home at 8p.m ; help kiddos with their homework; cook dinner and still connected to the society-friends-parents-in laws- relatives. When after juggling between this daily hectic schedules and roles (A mother-A wife- A daughter- A sister- A friend- A daughter-in-law-A worker), a lady ask for some space out of her husband’s ‘independence & carefree life’ does it give a LADY LADEN impression out of US?

GIRLS: DON’T WE THINK WE ARE SUPER(WO)MAN ?

Enough said! I am taking a break to be a HAPPY WOMAN for rest of my DAY.

But when you wish a woman “Happy Women’s Day”, make sure that woman is essentially happy. Do whatever you can bring to her life to make her HAPPY. So that every other day, it’s a Woman’s Day!!